I know lately alot has been rough between us and I can’t help but feel like everytime we argue I’m always the one messing up. There are times when I doubt that I could ever make you happy but I know that for the past few years and months we have been together I’ve done nothing but try my best to make you happy. There are times when I couldn’t heck I couldn’t even make you smile when you needed it most and worst of all I failed to do a lot of things that make me seem like a good girlfriend. I can only apologize so many times but it probably won’t mean anything because of how many times I’ve screwed up, lately it’s been getting harder to deal with because we both know how hard it is right now since we can’t do anything about how we feel face to face. Giving up has always been an option but it has never been the answer, if you promise to stick by my side I promise to stick by yours. Despite all the hateful things that was said, I know we’ll forget it when we’re finally together. You’re my number 1, my best friend, my homie and my boyfriend. <3
Contour really is my weakness I just can’t work with that shit, I draw eyes so much better in pencil ~o~
I never really got a chance to thank those who are important to me in a post so I thought I’d start here. They always say that you should always appreciate what you have until it’s gone because if you don’t you start to realize how much you have taken everything for granted. Growing up I never understood what that meant, I always thought everyone in my life will stay here forever, what I have won’t ever go away but I was wrong and I found out that the hard way. So to my mom, thank you for always cherishing me even when times were hard between us, you made me realize that as an independent women even if you have kids and no one else to support them but yourself you can still do it. You have taught me so many things in life, you never gave up on me, you fed and took care of me I’m just glad you’re still alive. I hope one day you’ll still be alive to see me get married and succeed in life. I love you mom.
To my siblings, we don’t talk much, we don’t get along, we don’t do things we used to do when we were kids anymore, where we would always play together but you’re both still protective of me as my older brothers and I’m grateful for having you both as my siblings.
To my friends that I’ve met and are no longer in contact with me. Thanks for entering and leaving my life. It was nice knowing you all for those short period of time and I hope you all do well in your future.
To my present friends now that haven’t left, well to be honest not sure what to write cause yall suck dick. :D Jkn. You guys made me who I am today and been there through my struggles and I know many of you won’t ever read this cause you won’t find my tumblr but I’m grateful for all of you so far for staying in my life.
Lastly to my boyfriend. I strongly feel that no matter where in life it takes us we’re always going to be with each other. When I stated that I want my mom to see me get married, it refers to you because I want her to see me marry you some day. I’m so grateful to you for putting up with me for as long as we have been together so far, I’m so so so so glad I got to know you. I can’t always tell myself that you’ll always be here for me forever because there’s always a chance of something happening but I hope it doesn’t. I appreciate knowing that you care about me, love me and doing as much as you can for me. I don’t know what else to say here because you always leave me speechless in a good way, and to me you’re the only one that’s going to be there with me when my family and friends are no longer there. So I hope you take good care of me in return I will do the same. So thank you so much for everything babe.
You’ve been there for me every single step of the way, you have been my best friend since we started talking, you have become the most important person in my life and along the way we lost the sight of what we meant to each other. Somewhere and somehow we found our way back together again. You now hold a special place in my heart, no longer as my best friend but as my boyfriend, as someone who I can honestly say without a doubt my future husband. There were many times where I would get worried about how long we’ll be together, or if we were actually meant to be but honestly you have always told me it’s not something I should be worried about. "Think about us, think about now, and no matter what happens I know we’ll be together again but for now we are together and lets make that count." He said. Those words kept me going and even though we fought, even though we had made one another shed a tear, screamed at one another, got angry with each other where we couldn’t say a thing; in the end we always made up. We never took long to make up(last like 3-4 hours max), but in the end we just give in and admit that we were wrong or sorry. I know I can be harsh, and insecure but those are things that any girl would ever be worried about, I will never judge you for something you have done or will do, I can only tell you what your mistakes are and what I dislike but never will I tell you to change who you are. We used to talk endlessly about things that never even mattered and those honestly were the greatest conversation in my life. Now that we are here our conversation has turned into cheesy, I love you and endless kissing and honestly? If you ask me my heart beats faster everytime we do that even though we talk about our future now, has got me wondering to the point where it brings a smile to face. I suppose you could say; that I have become attached to you and our relationship(does that make me clingy?). I would do anything for you, and even though you always tell me that I’m doing too much, I don’t think you know what too much is. I know that it’s too much for you because I know no one has given you what I have been doing but don’t worry, you deserve it. I promise not just as your girlfriend but your bestfriend that I will stay by your side and take care of you. I see you as that one most important person in my life, so I hope you don’t ever leave.
Happy 1 year 11 months in 3 days Kevin Rattanachane <3.
my boyfriend is out with his cousin, so i thought I’d practice my calligraphy.
"only god can judge me"
I get tired not from being sad but being too happy when I’m talking to my significant other all night long till one of us pass out but even then I’ll stay up a little longer to listen to him sleep soothingly. I’ll think about everything, school, my life, where I’ll be going to uni/college soon, just who I will be and what I’ll be doing once I’m done school. But the tiredness I get is the good kind of tired, I know where I’m getting.